My journey to a new me

/My journey to a new me

My journey to a new me

You can reinvent yourself at any time, any age, at any point in your life.

Here’s some truth. I’ve been struggling over the past year in finding purpose in my life. In finding happiness. In figuring out just who I am and what that means for my future. Sound deep? Well, honestly, it has been pretty deep.

I would consider myself someone who has always been “high strung”, however, over the past several months that part of my personality transformed from just an adjective that I used to describe myself to one that was detrimental to myself. Over the past several months I’ve struggled with something I don’t exactly know the word for. Some people call it depression. Some people call it anxiety. Some people call it the winter blues. I’m not sure I would call it any of those – I lean towards calling it an emptiness.

First, let’s clear up a few things. 1) I’m by no means suicidal or having those type of thoughts, so don’t read this as a call for help. 2) Kari and my marriage is fantastic and not a contributing factor so don’t worry. 3) I totally realize how lucky I am to have the marriage, career, and lifestyle that I do.

That said, the fact remains I’ve been struggling. While I believe I’ve kept most of the negativity off of social media, behind the scenes and with personal interactions with me, I’m sure others have felt it. Instead of looking at the happiness that I have all around me, I’ve been focussed on the negative as of late. Instead of seeing the opportunity in life, I’ve been focussed on the challenges. Instead of focussing on taking the time to enjoy life moments, I’ve been focussed on how to make every second productive.

Truthfully, I’ve been nervous to share this because I’ve been afraid of judgment. I’ve been afraid that you, my friends, would view my life and the blessings I have and look at my unhappiness as silly. It’s so easy for someone to see another person’s social media or to see a life from an outside perspective and not understand how that person could be struggling. It’s easy for us to pass judgment on one another and lack empathy. I know this because I’ve done it to others which is why I’ve feared the same would be done unto me. However, the real truth is that we are all struggling. We all have our own stories, our own challenges, our own issues we’re working through. The real truth is that my struggles are different than your struggles, but the impact on our hearts and mind is similar.

So why am I telling you this? I tell you all this today to let you know that you can reinvent yourself and that every single one of us goes through struggles – no matter what our social media portrays. I am in the process of reinventing myself as I write this. For the past several weeks I’ve put a full focus on stepping back and asking myself some hard questions. What is my purpose? What is my passion? How can I be happier? How can I help other lives be happier? I’ve been employing the tools that I’ve recommended to others when they’ve come to me with similar stories. A few of the tools I’ve been using specifically are meditation, journaling, personal development, and self-reflection. I’ve put a deep focus on this over the past few weeks and this last week in California. I’m making progress, feeling happier, and seeing a path form for who I am. In addition to that, sharing this is another tool I’m employing. Being more transparent and open about my life rather than trying to create the perfect picture.

The only way I can honestly be myself while also helping others find themselves is to be open and transparent. Will my social media suddenly be about every little problem and struggles in life? Heck no! Will I be sharing more of my story, the challenges I’m overcoming, and the true me? Yes. Very much yes.

I realize this has been a pure stream of conscious so if you’ve made it this far, thank you. I’ll leave you with this.

Life is beautiful, even though it can be tough sometimes. Never forget that we’re all in this together and that you are a loved and important part of this world. Focus on putting positivity into the world, and I believe positivity will fill your life as well.

As always, I’m here if you need anything.

P.S.

If you’re interested in any of the books I’ve been reading recently during this journey, here are a few of my favorites that I’ve found are helping me along the way.

By |2018-12-31T04:54:47+00:00July 10th, 2018|Life|2 Comments

2 Comments

  1. Adam Desaulniers July 10, 2018 at 9:52 pm - Reply

    Thank you for posting this Kolby and I would say takes courage out of the gate to post something like this. Social media is significantly disproportionate with positives versus struggles that we all face in life. I do believe anyone is empowered to change anything in their at any time, but it does take guts, ambition, or self-reflection to do so.

    I don’t profess to be perfect by any means and many days I too feel a longing as well for something more. Keep on preaching. I’ve never once seen a positive thing come out of a negative attitude. All too often we look at what we don’t have and fail to recognize what we DO have. I’d encourage you to keep sharing your journey. It sends the right message and I am confident it will help others.

    • kolbyk July 13, 2018 at 6:27 pm - Reply

      Dude, thank you so much for the kind words. Appreciate you, brother.

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